Things will be quiet for a few

I am not going to be totally away, but I may not be around a lot for a bit. for how long? I am not sure. My mom is not going to be around much longer. she is dying. we have been expecting this for a while now. we have known for 8 years(?) that we were going to lose her. our family is plagued with a very destructive disease called Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency that attacks the liver and/or the lungs and is passed down through the genes…and almost every one of my grandpa’s family on my mom’s side of the family has it, and is dead or dying from it…not every one, but a good number of them…more so than is not. And I am a carrier of it, as are my brothers. It can be cured with a liver/lung transplant…however, mom cannot have one. she is allergic to almost every medicine on the market, which disqualifies her from one. we have known this almost from the beginning of finding out about the disease. It was just a matter of time. We were hoping that we would have at least another year, or two, with her. we knew time was closing in. but, things escalated at Halloween, she took a turn for the worse. then this past month, things *really* got bad…really bad. the past few days we have been running back and forth to the doctors/hospital. she is now on morphine with end-stage liver failure. the doctors can’t give us a time-frame, but if she follows true to her dad and brother and the rest of the family members…it is only a matter of weeks. Right now, I have numbed myself and am holding myself together with mental duct tape so that I can be strong for my dad and the rest of the family…For the most part, mom knows what is going on, and she has told us, all along, how she wants her body to be treated…she wants a very brief viewing and then cremation to have her ashes brought home. no funeral, no big drama. just brief and simple. which suits us fine. we are, for the most part, very private, very simple people. I have been preparing myself for this for a long time. It does not make it any easier, but it is helping me from breaking down when I am most needed right now. Needless to say, I am not going to be around much…the blog’s, the tweet’s, the Facebook accounts and the writing are all going to be neglected for the most part as I help take care of mom…as the end draws closer…but I will be around…somewhat. I will do what I can, manage how I can, and take things as they come…but most of all…be with mom as much as possible. It would help if we knew exactly how much time we had…but we don’t, and so we take each day as it comes. we muddle through and we love her with all our hearts. She is a fantastic lady who has given lots of love through her life, she deserves no less then to get as much love as we can give her…as I can give her…