Friday, January 15, 2010

Things will be quiet for a few

I am not going to be totally away, but I may not be around a lot for a bit. for how long? I am not sure. My mom is not going to be around much longer. she is dying. we have been expecting this for a while now. we have known for 8 years(?) that we were going to lose her. our family is plagued with a very destructive disease called Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency that attacks the liver and/or the lungs and is passed down through the genes…and almost every one of my grandpa’s family on my mom’s side of the family has it, and is dead or dying from it…not every one, but a good number of them…more so than is not. And I am a carrier of it, as are my brothers. It can be cured with a liver/lung transplant…however, mom cannot have one. she is allergic to almost every medicine on the market, which disqualifies her from one. we have known this almost from the beginning of finding out about the disease. It was just a matter of time. We were hoping that we would have at least another year, or two, with her. we knew time was closing in. but, things escalated at Halloween, she took a turn for the worse. then this past month, things *really* got bad…really bad. the past few days we have been running back and forth to the doctors/hospital. she is now on morphine with end-stage liver failure. the doctors can’t give us a time-frame, but if she follows true to her dad and brother and the rest of the family members…it is only a matter of weeks. Right now, I have numbed myself and am holding myself together with mental duct tape so that I can be strong for my dad and the rest of the family…For the most part, mom knows what is going on, and she has told us, all along, how she wants her body to be treated…she wants a very brief viewing and then cremation to have her ashes brought home. no funeral, no big drama. just brief and simple. which suits us fine. we are, for the most part, very private, very simple people. I have been preparing myself for this for a long time. It does not make it any easier, but it is helping me from breaking down when I am most needed right now. Needless to say, I am not going to be around much…the blog’s, the tweet’s, the Facebook accounts and the writing are all going to be neglected for the most part as I help take care of mom…as the end draws closer…but I will be around…somewhat. I will do what I can, manage how I can, and take things as they come…but most of all…be with mom as much as possible. It would help if we knew exactly how much time we had…but we don’t, and so we take each day as it comes. we muddle through and we love her with all our hearts. She is a fantastic lady who has given lots of love through her life, she deserves no less then to get as much love as we can give her…as I can give her…

Monday, January 11, 2010


I have had several people ask me where my story ideas come from, both for new books, and for while I am writing my current stories, to keep them going…and that answer if very easy for me.

Dreams. They come from my dreams. Both sleeping and awake, but mostly sleeping.

this is the usual process…

I dream. Unless the dream is in color (which is a rarity for me that it is not in color), I do not take note of it. At least for a story. But I usually don’t take too close of note of the dream for potential story use if it occurs just once. oh no. there has to be a lot more to it than this. No, the first time I dream, it is purely for entertainment (and informational purposes from my subconscious).

If I dream the dream again, regardless if it is the same exact dream or not, no matter what form it is in, this is where I really start paying closer attention for potential use. Even if it is in black and white and shades of grey. If it has the same theme, I take note.

Why would I take note even if it is not in color? Because it is building on the original dream. Sometimes it is the same exact dream repeating itself, letting me know that I need to pay attention, that more information will be coming. Sometimes it jumps right into continuing the dream, or going into a new segment of the same theme. This is when I start becoming aware that there is more to it.

then comes the part that is even more fun than "”watching” the dreams unfold” (which I don’t take any action with the dreams to creating anything from them yet). there is still one more test to go through before I know these dreams are leading to a idea that will bear the test from just being entertaining dreams to becoming short stories (that will probably never see the light of day *snicker*) to actual books.

I start creating “mind movies” with them. I put the potential characters through potential scenes in my head (usually while I am lying in bed waiting for sleep to come and the house is quiet around me).

If the characters play in the scenes without any problems, or they actually take off in the scenes with little direction from me, I know that the idea is going to be one that I will be able to complete…regardless how much time it takes.

However, if the characters are stiff, if it takes everything in me to get them to do what I want, then it has failed the final test and I know, that while the dreams were fun, the idea won’t fly, and I stop playing with them to make way for another dream, another idea, to come to me.

For a story idea (other than the odd short story, which I admit I don’t write too many of…I have issues with short writing LOL) to come from the dream stages to a workable idea for me, it can sometimes take several months. that is not counting actually building the actual story from the information I gathered in the dream/mind movie stage. It has been a rare story idea that has been born spontaneously.

This *is* a valid way to get ideas, there is a lot of psychological meaning behind it, the symbols that come out in it alone would let a dreamologist have a heyday. And I *do* interpret the dreams along with using them as story ideas, but man, I love the ideas they create…and no, don’t bother trying to figure out my dreams from the stories, LOL, they change so much from the original dream as the characters take on a life of their own that the original dream gets lost in the mix ;)

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