Sunday, July 10, 2011

What to say?

I swear my  mind is a blank slate anymore. I never know what to say on facebook or on here…which is why the blogs have been so scarce lately. I know what I plan on saying, but when it comes down to it? Nothing. nada. zilch. And for a person who loves words, that is frustrating to say the least. I feel lost when my words are not here. And I can trace it back to its source…the day I lost mom. I know I shouldn’t say this, or feel this…but when mom died, I felt like she took my words with me…and I need to find a way to get them back. Of course, it really is not her fault, but that is the time period that I can trace my lack of words to. That is the last time that I really wrote anything in any of my stories. Right now, I am still struggling with the edit of Into the Forest so I can get it back to my editor…but it is coming so slowly. I hate it. Never before had my words been so lost…even when I was at my sickest, years ago, I never lost my words. That was when I was writing Judgment at Witches Court…and that book is what kept me going. Yet…now…I can’t seem to find any words to finish what I want to finish. The urge is there, the desire…but the words? Nope. Grrr. And now with school…I barely have any energy to do anything. I love school, and am glad I am going, but at the same time…I have no energy for anything else. thank goodness school is online or I would never be able to do it as well. Hopefully the doctors will be able to help me get my energy back by getting my health problems on the right track…in the meantime? I continue to search for my words, and hope that I will find them to get writing again soon, and so I can finish my edit of Into the Forest faster.

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