Saturday, October 3, 2009

Unlimited internet….as if

This really burns me

Here I am, purposely staying up during the middle of the night, knowing it will adversely kick my butt with my health and set me back several days because I have to do some serious updating and fixes on the computers, but it is the only time I can do it.

not because it is quiet. not because it is the only time I can get to the computers. not because it is the only time they are free.  but because it is the only time I can get the major downloading down without killing our supposedly “unlimited” internet.

Yes, we pay $80 (with tax) a month for unlimited, high-speed satellite internet.

but do we get it?

that is a big HELL NO.

Where we live, the only alternative is dial-up, and our land-lines are so bad, that the dial-up can barely connect.

So, we pay the big money. For something we don’t even get.

And it pisses us off.

The thing is, because we have 3 computers spread throughout the house, we have it on wireless. Well, that is fine. we live up on a mountain. literally. and up until recently, that was not a problem. but someone up here, has figured out how to tap into our wireless. we don’t know who. we don’t even know where. our nearest neighbor is at least a half-mile away. we can’t figure it out fully. and out network key is about 20 characters long give or take. but they figured it out.

So, between the piss-poor internet we are getting, and whoever is tapping into us, we do not get the service we are paying for.

One thing we are going to do, is fork out even more money to switch to a different satellite company that gives us a little more leeway on our time, though they still put a cap on us though claim to be unlimited. (I will describer more about that in a minute), and buy several lengths of cable about 30 feet long each and wire them into the router and get rid of the wireless.

Ok, how do we know someone is tapping in to us? Well, every day, after school gets out, our internet goes from super fast, to super slow, and on weekends it literally goes from high-speed to slower than dial-up.

And as for the “unlimited” yet limited internet? Yes, it is unlimited, but they have something called “Fair-access policy” and depending on what package you pay for each month, you get only a certain amount of MBs to download and a certain amount to upload before they put a cap on you and take your high-speed down to dial-up speed. sure, you can still surf the internet, but only at a very restricted pace. “to be fair to all users.”

And this is what gets me.

now this next piece may sound like a conspiracy theory, but after my experience with my “unlimited….but only to a certain bit-rate!” experience with satellite…all of the “free wi-fi”? who do you think the expense for the free wi-fi comes from? people like me who pay $80 or more a month for internet who don’t get the service they pay for, who get a cap put on how much they surf, even though they pay for unlimited. Or people who have hidden fees with other electronic services, such as television that have satellite internet companies attached…such as Dish network, or DirecTV…though I don’t know for sure that Hughesnet is officially affiliated with DirecTV anymore or not, but you get my drift…The free wi-fi comes out of someone’s pocket, and not just the generosity of businesses.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I think it is great for those that can’t afford internet to be able to access…but, well, I have a hard enough time making ends meet. I can barely afford internet as is, but I cannot do without it, especially if everyone out there wants to continue to read my works, because there is no free internet access anywhere for me. And for me to be ripped off the way I am with it…it burns me. and it burns me bad.

I guess like everything else, a little bit of a good thing has become abused. My internet situation wouldn’t be so bad if whoever up here wasn’t abusing me and my family the way they are. sure the people out here are poor. some are beyond poor. but to steal from others, and it is stealing, is not right. Especially where our health and livelihood depends on this internet. Where we lose it at times because they steal it, and where the internet company is continually shutting us down because of their “Fair-access policy” that we don’t even exceed, puts all of us at risk. I use this internet to keep in contact with my doctors, to get medications…not just for my writing.

But, I guess, as long as whoever is stealing it from us is getting a little bit of pleasure, all is well huh? **rolls eyes**

Ok. It is late…or early. I hate being up this time, working on computers. I get cranky and paranoid. I will go crawl under my desk. Maybe, though, if one of my neighbor’s reads this, they will think twice.

Wishful thinking huh?

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

strange dream – now trying to research it

ok, now why am I trying to research a dream? because both my mom and I both had the same dream with varying depth to the dream, I believe in prophetic, and/or telling dreams and I also believe that spirits talk to us in our dreams and with Halloween approaching, the spirits are getting more and more active.

So, here is my version of the dream.

this dream was interspersed with a dream about the appointment I was supposed to have today with my insulin pump trainer. the dream also jumped between the early 1800s and present day, but it revolved around the same dream. except the pump trainer LOL. that was my brain trying to draw me away. I have the impression that it was toward the North East, around Pennsylvania or West Virgina area and that it was a family that was more upper class, maybe not one of the completely wealthy, but definitely upper class.

Anyway, I will leave the details of the pump trainer out.

The dream starts out at night. I am in the bathroom. It is dimly lit with a gas lamps. they were turned down low. Everything was turn of the century. I was standing in front of a mirror, but I wasn’t me, I couldn’t see “me” clearly though. I did see that I was in a night gown. I was getting ready for bed. My hair was curly and I was braiding it. I was the nanny. I hear a noise. A window breaks. I hear screaming children. so many screams. It is dark. I run into the nursery. I am knocked out. I wake. The children are not in the nursery. I hear more screaming. these are adults. The day help. I run toward the screaming. I feel, more than see, the parents murdered. that was not where the screaming was coming from. I go outside to the play area. There. There are the children. all seven of them. murdered. no. not murdered. butchered. pieces of them here. pieces of them there. I don’t know if it is the wind pushing against fabric and limbs that give the impression of twitching, or if they *were* still twitching…

flash to the present day. somehow a bunch of kids learn about this murder. They decide to reenact the scene. I get the impression there was a photograph…so, looking that little info up, it looks like the first permanent photograph was taken in 1825…so it would have to be after that…or the scene was so well described that the children were able to have all the gruesome info…or just my brain trying to sort through the info of the original part of the dream…but I have a strong feeling there was a picture…who knows though…but back to the dream. The present day children were reenacting the dreams, even going so far as to getting period clothing and a child’s glove and putting a frog in the glove so it would look like the “hand” was twitching.

Then it just kept flashing back and forth between the two scenes of the original murder of the children, and the reenactment. the parents were never shown in the dream. but they were “felt” as murdered, as dead. and the babble in the background could be heard giving that information. It focused mainly on the butchered bodies of the children.


so. here is mom’s dream, from what little she told me. It is pretty much the same. she did not see a nanny, she saw the parents dead, the mom was pregnant with her 8th child. the children, she cannot remember exactly where they were, only that they were strewn all over the place, butchered.


I did not tell her much about my dream, and I haven’t asked her that much about hers.

It is not uncommon for me to dream of ancient battles or things like this…but *not* of children’s deaths.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Mu Mysteries delay

So, as much as I hate to say this, unless today goes a little better, or the next few days go a little better, Mu Mysteries is going to have a delay in its posting. I haven’t quite finished the next chapter.

I hate this. this month started out so promising with writing and just quickly went downhill. I knew it would time-wise, but health-wise…well, that had looked so promising too, but…I guess I got too excited.

I am still keeping my fingers crossed that I will be able to do some writing today, but even that is not looking too good. again, it started looking positive early this morning, but everything started going downhill after I ate.

We will see though. I will take it a bit at a time.

Yesterday and the day before were really bad. The day before I had a really bad panic and asthma attack. I ended up on oxygen for several hours. yesterday, my blood pressure was sky high…150+ / 90+ with a pulse of 80+ all day and I was on oxygen in the evening again. I need to take it again today, I want to try to do a little bit of walking on the TreadClimber if I can, but it all depends on the blood pressure and blood sugars. I am hoping that if I can walk, maybe everything else might align properly.

Again, we will see.

If I can walk, it will be the first of being able to use the new machine. I keep looking at it longingly LOL.

The past 2 weeks we have been gone almost every day, and the next week it will be the same. It has been quite some time since we have been on the go this much. I believe it has been years since it has been this bad. It is not helping the health. No wonder the doctor does not want me doing any traveling. even these short trips are killing me grrr.

Ok, gotta go do a few things and then see if I can walk then try to get some writing done….



**disclaimer: writer I am, writer I will always be. But spelling I never claimed to own. There will always be spelling errors, even with the aid of spell checkers. Unless I employ 20 proof-readers, and if I do that, you will never get to see these blogs…so, guess you will have to put up with the spelling errors….or do what I do. Blame it on the Typo-Fae and say the spelling errors occurred en-route ;-)**

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