Saturday, November 28, 2009

I might have to disappear…

I might have to disappear for a few days, and stay as much away from electrical gadgets…and possibly even books…as I can for two, maybe three days. it depends on how the rest of this day goes.

I have noticed a decline over the past few days in my health. well, not just the past few days, but dramatically over the past few days. especially with having eaten Thanksgiving dinner. My eyes have been bothering me for a few, and I have been trying to ignore them, but it is not working and my tummy…well, It has been being an issue for several weeks now.

My diabetes, however, is being surprisingly mellow. that surprises me.

but my eyes and my tummy…

I have eye damage from the diabetes and it is flared up. when I went last month to the eye doctor, there was more damage…not significant, but more…and it is aggravated right now. and the more I am on the computer, the worse it is getting.

it is so strange. when my eyes get tired, I get after images…I call it the “strobe-light effect.” I can wave my hand (or any movement) and it will leave after images of it for several seconds afterward…it is especially pronounced in the morning and evening and in low-light.  Also you know how if you stare into the sun, or at a lightbulb you get the sun spots in your eyes? they are there in mine all the time now, and I have a hard time seeing around them anymore…some days are worse than others. some days I barely notice them. Then I can also “watch” my vision actually dim. I can watch the light be shut off and everything go almost dark. It is to the point in the evenings that I have to have a lamp and the overhead light on to read. we won’t go into how thick my glasses are even with the feather-weight lenses LOL. So, yes. I am loosing my vision. We don’t know when, but yes, it is something I am going to have to face. And on days like today and the past little while, I wonder if it is going to actually be sooner rather than later.

and my tummy…I decided last night that I am going to have to go on a more liquid diet…not totally liquid, but more of a liquid diet. in order to ease the discomfort, in order to help everything…I cannot go on like this. regardless if surgery is in my near future or not, I am going to have to give up meats. I said I was going to keep it specifically for the big holidays…I can’t. not with how I am feeling yesterday and today. I can’t do it anymore. so easily digested foods, more of a liquid diet. hopefully that will postpone surgery, and not make me suffer as much and make me feel slightly better. because, having to choose daily which meal it is that I am going to eat because my tummy won’t let me eat more than even one *small* meal a day is not a good thing. perhaps if the new pill the doctor just put me on earlier in the week works, then I may be able to revise things a little bit, but for now…nope.

So, if I don’t appear for several days, you know why. I have had to go rest. I have had to go baby this pathetic body of mine….

anybody have a miniature violin they can play for me right now? I think this blog deserves one ROFLMAO

Search This Blog