Saturday, June 6, 2009

bit of a quandary

I have been sitting here for a little over an hour, staring at the screen. The Prank is there. I know what I want to say, but I am facing a bit of a decision. this decision is not much of one in the scheme of things, especially to most writers…but, well, for me it is a bit of one. one of the reasons, when I first set out to be a writer (well, after I reached about 16…I always wanted to be a writer), but one of the reasons I originally went toward children’s books, is so I didn’t have to face this decision. But children’s books are not my thing. especially the older I get. So, I avoided this little problem by settling for young adult. I could get away with a little, but it still was not much of a problem (yes, I am purposely avoiding mentioning what it is for a moment LOL). but my books, my writing, and I am evolving, and so now, I have to face the decision that I have put off for so long. swearing. adult scenes. Like I said, writing for young adults, I cussed a little. Maybe a hell here or a shit there. but that was all. so now, I am having to face the much bigger picture. I, myself, don’t have a problem with it. My sister has broken me of being afraid to express myself. but this is the problem. The Prank is calling for a lot more than minor cussing. My characters want to be able to express themselves without limit. If I was just writing for myself, I wouldn’t even be hesitating over this. In some of my private works, I have gone a lot farther than full-out swearing. but, where others will read these stories, I am a bit hesitant…because I know some of my fan-base is younger. but that is not the full reason. I know the younger kids are exposed to much more than I was at the same age. The hesitation is coming about family reading it. a lot of my family are Mormon. some of them staunch. Then there is dad and mom. my mom hates swearing with a passion, and hates it even worse if it comes from her children. Dad…well, I don’t know about him. I am more vocal around him than I am around mom, but he doesn’t read. not even my stuff. So, I need to make the decision. Do I go ahead, follow my characters leads, follow my own inclination…or sensor myself for the benefit of my family. I know, everybody will shout “You gotta go with the characters, you gotta follow your inclination.” but with my family, that is not nearly as easy as that sounds. So I have been sitting here, staring at The Prank, at Reis and Iakonna. Especially Reis. He is in a rage, and he wants free reign, and I want to give it to him. but if I do, it will shock all my family out of their belief that I am this innocent woman who has barely dated, so she doesn’t know much about life. LOL that in of itself would be funny to see. So…Reis. I know you want to rage, you want to yell, you want to storm to Hera and rip her head off…but, adelphos, you are going to have to stay in your waiting while I make a decision. More than likely, you will be able to do what you want…though I don’t think you will be able to rip Hera’s head off…but other than that, I think you will be able to do what you want. You just have to wait until I can make my final decision. So…I guess I will go work on chapter 2 of Mu Mysteries. Shashanna needs to commune with her own gods. I hope you don’t begrudge her that.

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